Diary Entry; A Giant Has Fallen!

Wow! I honestly wasn't ready for this, not that anyone is ever ready for death but I wasn't ready for yours.

Here I am sitting at your desk typing this diary entry and I guess I feel close to you only difference is, part of me still thinks you are going to pop in and shout " morning Katso, let’s get the day started" I feel like you are pranking me and I told you to never prank me with stuff that my-heart wouldn't be able to digest because like wow.

We have lost a giant, we have lost a leader, we have lost someone that always allowed me to express myself and weird enough this is our work place and most of the time expressing our feelings isn't really a thing however here I am. this was honestly too soon from every "wussup welcome back to our channel with myself Katso and Jozi" to every "see you guys in the next video" I guess there won't be next a video, as much as I want to continue with the channel I just don't know if I will be able to do the intro without mentioning your name and weird enough you won’t be in any of those videos.

I’m trying to be strong for not only myself but the young people we had sessions with because like wow, what do I say to them? do I just let them find out from random people or do I actually let them know myself either way I’m just not ready to look them in the eye and tell them you aren’t no more.

I lost my personal hype person, my own cheerleader, my own motivator and yes my very own friend. However, I’m grateful to have met you, I’m grateful to have shared words of wisdom with you, shared priceless moments with you and yes moments where you actually would tell me stuff I don't want to hear but I heard because you wanted me to be a better version of myself. thank you for always speaking life over me, thank you for constantly being there even in times where I was stubborn and unreasonable, your constant patience, calmness, humility and amazing smile always made my day especially when I was having a tough day.

I’m going to miss all the little cute arguments we had, all the moments where you would call me "muntu omuhle" moments I would chase you out of our office because you failed to push in your chair and you would say to me "ha come on Katso, really now, you are going to regret this decision" and yes 30 mins later I’m the one calling you to come back to the office. I need so much strength because it’s going to be a long month, a long year but one thing I loved about you is how you always said to me "its ok to be sad, but don’t be sad forever we need to move and get things done" so that's exactly what I will do, I will get things done.

 

Rest Easy Ntwana I’m definitely going to miss you, you have impacted me so much! and again I’m grateful to have met you and worked with you. I swear the world wasn't ready for us, the world wasn't ready for our channel. your memory will forever be in our hearts.