Untold Stories of Vat 'n' Sit: Part 2

Now I know some of you are wondering, what the highs were, the lows, what the triggers were, and what the red and green flags were. Well, I am here to share exactly that. During my stay with him, I realized that the first few months were more of me and him trying to "not step on each other's toes" as we have not been as up, close, and personal before. Each day was more of "No it's fine you can watch your show I will watch mine after yours," *laughs* I am laughing because wow what a ridiculous way to strengthen a relationship by trying to avoid pressing each other's buttons. There’s a lot that comes with moving in with your partner, from the likes of whose place you choose and why, who gets to sell their furniture and who keeps theirs, how you share chores and other daily tasks but also the important one; Finances! How do you break down the money? Well, I am here to share my experience; I am here to share how cohabiting has worked for me, and some of the things I wish I were told before moving in. Things to Remember:

• Before moving in with a partner, Move in with yourself Most people are quick to move in with someone else before they move in with themselves. Moving in with yourself, spend time by yourself before you get to spend it with another person. this will help you learn things about yourself that you know and that you do not know. I managed to spend a plentiful 8 months by myself and I learned a few things. I hate cooking, I hate doing chores especially if someone dictates to me and now I am stuck with someone who wakes up and wants to put the house to order and I am just like “Bro chill! We can do it later”. • Family Responsibilities We all have a family we come from however we do not come from the same background. It is very important to discuss family responsibilities before moving in or as soon as you start discussing moving in together. I am fortunate that at the time, I moved in with him my mom was still financially ok and did not ask for any financial assistance from me but a few months down the line my mom asked for help and everything went south! Having to share the little income you have with your family and this new family that you are trying to build is not easy at all; So it is advisable that you discuss it prior to avoid misunderstandings and the other feeling used and unappreciated. Talk about how you are supporting your family, how much is it and how often do you send money to your family.

• Career/Goal Beginning of the year I believe most of us draw up vision boards and some goals that one wants to achieve however if your goals require money then you need to discuss this with your partner so that they know what happens to your money, how they can better support you, and how far you are with your goal; this includes your financial goals. • Finances! This one is very important as especially if you both have an active income. You need to share responsibilities equally without the other feeling as if they have more responsibilities and for you to conquer and win in your relationship avoid using words like “you’re the man in the house so I expect you to cover the majority of the responsibilities” “you’re the woman in the house you should be cooking and cleaning” NO! That is not how you are going to win. You win if everything is shared equally with each other's strengths and abilities put in mind.

Those are just merely the basics that you would find or even expect when thinking of moving in with your partner however, relationships are different and every couple is different and handle situations differently. My advice to young couples that want to move in together is GO FOR IT! Cohabiting is just two individuals that are in a romantic relationship that want to spend more time together, cut down on cost and potentially create and achieve a financial goal together.