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Relationship Anxiety; Part 4

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"let's take things slow" he said. With a puzzled look on my my face I continued sipping on my wine. This is crazy because I am talking about a guy that just wined and dined me. From sending an uber to fetch me to buying me flowers and picking my favorite wine, I still didn't know what "let's take things slow" means or even look like. The battle of defining love changes every single day as we continue doing the trial and error method. My biggest fear isn't me investing in another person but me investing in a person that doesn't have clear intentions. A person that can't define what it is that they want or stand for. Everyone has a God given yearning for complete and unconditional love. Being present in a relationship or an encounter with another person requires you to know who you are and what your intentions are. The minute you start second guessing your intentions that's where you start being absent in that relationship or en

Becoming with Abigail Radebe; Diary Entry

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God has been good to me! I think that's the best way to explain the past season. It's been a rollercoaster ride, half of the time I wasn't sure of what I'm doing and the other half I was just going with the flow. The past 7 months sum up an entire season that has somehow come to an end (it's ending because it's time for a new season) in this season I've learned so much, I've grown so much and I've experienced so much. One of the toughest seasons I didn't even realize I was learning because I was busy trying to achieve things I set out to achieve. Every year on my birthday I do my birthday campaign then I come back and spend time with myself to somehow come up with a theme for the year tha t  I'm going to follow (align myself with) and this year I came up with 'gracefully gracing' I felt like everything I do this year needs to be done gracefully so with God gracing me with his grace. 2 months into the year I'm splashed

Relationship Anxiety; Part 3

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Millennials! One of the most outspoken generation ever, constantly redefining everything from what qualifies to be called a career, family customs to relationship goals. This generation has redefined relationship goals so much that it's not only limited to matching t-shirts, couple handshakes, owning a business together but to actually being purpose partners. Our past experiences has stirred up our anxiety so much that we enter into a relationship with one foot in and one foot out. "I'm protecting my heart" are words used by most millennials when they justify why they are half committed. The lack of understanding when it comes to relationships, the purpose of a relationship, basic necessities that keep a relationship going is why we still have failed relationships and young men and women entering into relationships thinking their in love only to find them seeking for attachment and pleasure from the other person they claim to be in love with. O

Relationship Anxiety; Part 2

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The struggle of learning another person's love language is still a challenge when it comes to millennials. Dating a broken guy whiles I'm broken myself brings so much anxiety. I question every move I make, every word I say and everything I suggest; am I doing too much? am I doing too little? am I caring too much? (Is there such) anyway I'm just anxious being with this human being and I'm just curious if what I want is what he wants. The problem is not the relationship or the duration of the relationship but the two individuals who are anxious, doubtful and worried if they are about to reach destiny world (ideal partner) or doubt world (trial and error). My struggle isn't being in a relationship but how I act when I'm in a relationship. I tend to forget that it requires commitment, which is something we need to practice every day, we need to learn to recommit every single day no matter how tiring or frustrating our partner is. The bible says love is k

Relationship Anxiety: Part 1

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  The past few weeks I've been having conversations with close friends about relationships from what drives a relationship, what keeps two people together, makes them commit to each other and how we can define relationships in the 21st centaury (that's if we have a different kind of love). These conversations have been thought provoking so much that it got me reflecting on my own life. I got to look at what I want and what I look for in a man and I asked myself a couple of questions, have I been settling for less? am I even willing to settle for less? Well I don't know hey but what I do know is yes I have lowered my standards a couple of times and this has drained me emotionally and mentally. I moved from believing into one thing and actually allowing myself to compromise what I don't believe in just because I'm "in love". This caused me to be the one that invested more in the relationship. I would be the one doing all the calling, texting and

The Debt Pool; Drowning in Debt

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It's a pity that some of the things we do we learn them from our parents who also learnt it from their parents, it's a generational cycle we need to break. One of the generational cycles I found myself drowning in was the one of debt!, Debt one of the biggest problems that most young people find themselves tight up in and the only way to get out is by borrowing from one lender to pay the next. This is the fastest growing problem as 1 in 3 millennials find themselves with debt before the age of 30. Before I was born my grandmother was a stay at home mom, she moved to the city to go find work when my grandfather was retrenced. She became a domestic worker and 10 years later she found herself drowning in debt, borrowing from one lender to pay the next lender. She would console herself by saying "Batho kao fela ba na le dikoloto" (everybody has debt). She passed down this mentally to my mom who passed it down to me. At 18 I was already owing a clothing store r

I The African Child Part 2; Mogote Wa Poko

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With every "Tsala Dumela" to every "Gompieno" you know for sure that you are about to be encouraged with some setswana poetry. The art of words, creativity and a passion for healing people with words has become one of the things most young people seek when they hop on to social media and good bet because we actually have those young people who are doing exactly that. Mogote Wa Poko the well known setswana poet is here to take the world by storm with his traditional poetry that is making waves all over South Africa. Most young people would think as a poet the best language to use is English as it is a universal langauge, one of the most understood and maybe because our African languages aren't really ideal especially if one's craft is going to be their career as well. Mogote took the country by storm as he started performing his work of art by using his home language, he moved from being a community poet to being the most recognized on