Being a young Christian (part 4 - untangling the tangled)

If being a pk was a job position I would have lost my job already by now. Untangling tangled relationships is hard it's like untangling a tangled rope (you fix first the top when you fail you go to the bottom, when the bottom is hard you go back to the top and if the rope seems hard then you end up leaving the rope as a whole) how many relationships have you left hanging simply because you can't seem to untangle them?.

Like I said in the other post Jabu was never a bad person infact he was the only guy that made sure I don't define my worth, my career, myself and everything about me through him through his eyes. I've seen so many women who belittle themselves, who compromise their careers, their self worth simply because they trying to please their partners. luckily I got to meet someone who saw greatness in me and made sure I practice that on a daily basis. Nqobile on the other hand is an amazing human being I mean our relationship started weirdly but even though still we still practiced God's word, we still did everything according to the advise we were getting from our leaders (my mentor, his mentor, my pastor (not my dad), his pastor and yes his parents (his very close with them). I never thought I would be in a relationship and be doing it according to God's word for me that was a huge surprise, it still is. I didn't know dating a "Christian" was hard I mean there are so many rules and regulations sometimes I wondered to myself who set these rules and why such harsh rules. Nqobile and I fought almost everyday about everything even the smallest things like a missed call, he would get mad that i didn't respond on time, he also got mad because of my communicating skills (I don't see the need in communicating in detail as long as I told you that I'm busy to me I don't see the need to go in depth but to him this was important hence why we fought about it), he somehow was a serious person like I couldn't be myself I feared making him angry and arguing with him (I don't do well with apologies I hate apologizing but I do it), I guess he wanted perfection. 

Sometimes we females we forget that we are our own person before we enter a relationship, we forget that there was "me" before this relationship and there will be "me" again after the relationship and we end up basing ourselves according to what the guy wants, we succumb to what he wants us to be, we allow ourselves to be seen only in his eyes if he sees a wife you get excited and start behaving like one and sadly along the way when you do that you lose yourself and now make it hard for you to find you again because now you try and base it according to how the guy sees you.

Jabu saw greatness and pushed me to practice it hence why he would always say "do you always" but I failed to understand him hence why part of me wanted to "fix" him. Nqobile on the other hand wanted to "fix" me he wanted to fix things like my communication skills  (he was taught was to be detailed, communicate in detail as for me as long as I told my mom it doesn't have to be detailed and that caused a clash in our relationship) again I repeat how you do relationship with your parents will determine how you do relationships with others.

I don't know how you were taught to do things, I don't know how you act and react in relationships but I want to remind you that part of it is how you were taught and the other part is what we normally hide, how we see ourselves through the eyes of our partners is it through greatness or weakness.