Dear Daddy Dearest: Where to from here?

I'm still trying to untangle the tangled. I don't know if I'm doing the right thing or not but what I do know is that past forgiveness is a lot of tangled stuff that needs untangling.

Have you ever been in a relationship where you don't know how to act? Like you don't know how to be yourself, every time you try you just feel so out of place. My dad left me feeling out of place like honestly I don't know how to feel, act and react when I'm with him. It's so sad that my mom plays the match maker (middle woman if I could put it like that) when mommy is not around there's silence. Past forgiveness is suppose to be a stable relationship with communication, consistency, loyalty, honesty and trust but how do you begin a stable relationship with someone that hurt you in the past? Well luckily for me I learnt this from my dad that I will never have a stable relationship until I fix trust. Most people would argue that communication needs to be fixed first but how do you communicate with someone that you don't trust? Think about it, this person tells you they care for you but you don't trust they mean it, how will you maintain communicating with them? What normally happens in such cases is that you build up bitterness that will later be lashed out to the very same person that you trying to "trust" and "communicate" with.

Again past forgiveness should be a stable relationship but yet again it shouldn't be a forced relationship. Most of us when we forgive those who hurt us in the past we always tend to rush to get into a relationship with them and sometimes that hurts us even more because it seems like that person isn't remorseful at all (even though they are). 

Take your time! Yes, take your time you shouldn't feel forced to being in a relationship with a person you just forgave no! instead you should always feel at peace, be content and when you ready to start the relationship then go for it.

Past forgiveness should be a stable relationship (I still have a long journey to go untangling tangled stuff) and every single day I ask my dad (spiritually) where to from here?